Tweeter

Since I only have like 2 people following me on Twitter, I figure there are a lot of people missing out on some hilarious tweets. Don't fret, I've decided to make a blog post about my favorite twits. Now if I can only get people to read my blog....


It's a magical day, folk(s)- I have one follower! Now I just need 3 more to meet the legal definition of a "cult"

Stop driving and the snow wins. If the snow wins, the terrorists win

@weezyfosheezy I think lil kim won "twerkin' with da starz"

FINE MS WORD- I SPELLED IGNORANT WRONG. You don't have to underline it in red and make me feel like an a**hole.

This morning some birds were making cat calls at me...sooo degrading.

No seriously....this girl just sneezed and she made the sound "ACHOO." It's like she went out of her way to do it.

@weezyfosheezy: tweets 4 twats- a twitter-related fundraiser for vaginal diseases. Make this into a sketch

Not sure what 'reverse osmosis water' is, but it tastes oddly like forward osmosis water...

unemployment = forcing my dog to snuggle with a teddy bear...I would show you a pic if I had enough $$ to afford a smart phone

I guess I'm accidentally starting dreadlocks....#useahairbrushkids

I wish i knew you liked pina coladas....because then i would have never tried to cheat on you

A girl told me about her creative halloween costume from last year. It started with "sexy" and it ended with me punching her in the face

I'm just going to start using my own abbreviation, and everyone's going to have to look it up and feel stupid #FJR!

nope, facebook's still boring...i'll check back in 5 minutes

saw a guy with a red track suit. let it go bc i figured he was eastern european, but then he spoke. he was a bro

Nothing like "The Wall" to make me break out my best British child accent

if i had a rap name, it would be 'plant killa'


 Phew! I wrote another blog post and I didn't even have to think of any new material. SCORE!