Unemployment Blues

 Since I am unemployed, and have been for about 7 months now, I thought I'd make a post about jobless friend etiquette. I know how difficult it can be as a "jobbed" person to empathize with a jobless person, so I'll give you all a healthy reminder: Get your prostate checked. Ok, no, a reminder about jobless friend etiquette.

First of all, you should address us properly. I'm not "an unemployed person," I'm "a person with unemployment." Unemployment is NOT a disease, although, I know you all think it is. Also, you need to ask us what we want to be referred to as. Every jobless person is unique. It may be "jobless," might be "unemployed," it could be "disemployed" or  an "unemployee." I, myself, prefer "unemployment technician"- it implies that I am still working hard at not working. Hey, unemployment can be a full time job in itself...well, maybe part-time, so F@#$ YOU! Think about a time when you were job hunting and had to fill out a million applications. Can you remember how irritating it was to write the same information OVER and OVER and OVER again!? Name, address, education, employment history..Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history; Name, address, education, employment history. Now do you get my drift? 

Here's another thing that really gets my goat: people who have a nice expendable income assume that everyone else does, too. "Hey, let's go out to eat at that new sushi place" "No." "Hey, let's check out that Lady Gaga concert." "No." "Hey, let's go in on a hovercraft." "No." 

But mostly it's the questions about job status that drive me the most crazy. Here is a general rule- DO NOT ask me about it. Hearing the question "How's the job hunt going?" is worse than nails on a chalkboard. You have no idea how many times a week I get asked that. You might say "but I remember that you had a job interview last week, can't I ask you about that?" STOP RIGHT THERE. If something positive happens, I will tell you about it. I will make that promise. Just please come up with something else to ask me about. ANYTHING! 

Well, friends, hopefully that was informative for you. I do not condemn any of you for making these mistakes in the past, but if you make them from here on out YOU WILL be given an evil glare.